HELP ME I CAN’T SLEEP
*screamo singing* GO TO SLEEEEEEP GO TO SLEEEEEPPP GO TO SLEEP MY SWEET DARLINGGGGGGGGGGG
Anonymous asked: Wait what post?
If you mean my most recent personal post in response to anons asking for advice, then I believe this is the post you are looking for~
Anonymous asked: hi i was one of the anons who messaged you and just thank you so much for everything you said. it was all really inspirational and i just really look up to you for that and i hope you know that there are so many people who love you and your blog and just thank you again for your wise words <3333
Of course, dear! I’m so grateful that I could help xx
Wow. I’m utterly amazed by how many of these messages I came home to today, and I thought that, since this is such a prominent, important issue, I would create an entire post dedicated to this.
God, where to start. Perhaps I’ll write this as an essay of sorts, yeah? (And for all of you who rather dislike essays, please do keep reading anyway.) The following points are so utterly important, and I feel very strongly about this topic, seeing as many of the stories you read above actually have been quite evident in my own past, and present. And so, I write this, not only to you lovely anons, but to everyone else out there who might chance to see this.
There are several points I want to make here, but first and foremost, I must address the root of the problem at hand. Of course, it is of the human nature to be unstable in our emotions— meaning that, we often are bound to lash out at others when we are hurting. Now, while this within itself is a tendency born merely of being human, and while grace is absolutely necessary, we must keep in mind at all times that, though those at fault are human, so are we. And as such, it is not necessary to allow someone to trample you. And no one, by any means, has the right to trample someone else.
Ah, and for every “victim” reading this, there is also a “bully”. As I said, this is human tendency I’m talking about. Every bit of this applies to each and every one of us. We are all free to leave our excuses here, and move on.
My dears, there is, by no right or reason, a mortal need to treat someone else like shit. Take it from a Professionally Angsty Person. So you find yourself in a bad mood? I’m sorry, I hope that whatever is bothering you heals up. I do not, however, condone taking your own shit out on someone else. You will not die if you don’t treat someone like they aren’t human, and you will most certainly not build character by doing so.
I believe that, sadly, the issue is at its root, the lack of empathy. For anyone who is unsure what empathy is, worry not.
Empathy is easily related to a trait called sympathy, although there is a vast difference between the two terms.
Sympathy is most easily described as the ability to feel what another person is feeling. This is, in essence, an emotional experience— you identify with the feelings of someone close to you, or perhaps, to someone whose story touches you.
Empathy, however, requires understanding rather than feeling. You are able to listen to someone’s point of view, and to understand it— even if you do not fully agree with them.
Empathy is so brutally important, and yet such a difficult trait to apply to everyday life. This is because we must understand those who hurt us, understand why they might act the way they act. Or, on the other side— if you are in a bad mood— and mind you, this is a hard one— you must possess the ability to understand how your actions might make someone else feel. You don’t have to agree with their feelings, but you do need to respect them. Period.
To those of you who are saying that you’ve had a disagreement with a friend and they seem to be holding a grudge, or to the anon who expressed the hurt that a friend of theirs has inflicted on them— there is, truthfully, only so much that you can do.
Firstly, forgive them. You disagree on a certain matter? Ah well, that’s what opinions are for. They hold your own right to have an opinion against you? Empathy, my friends. Understand their opinions— respect them. You don’t need to agree, simply acknowledge that their right to have an opinion is just as valid as yours, and, by god, move on.
Secondly, talk to them. Express that you respect their opinions, and that you understand, or are at least trying to understand their point of view. And remember, no matter how they respond, no matter what they say, you do not need to apologize for possessing an opinion.I will make completely and utterly clear, however, that defending your opinion and offending other people who think differently than you is not, I repeat, not okay.
Thirdly, and this is important: move on. If you have done everything that you could possibly do to respectfully express your feelings on the matter, and your friend still is incapable of getting over it, move on. Don’t, by any means, ignore them or stop caring for them, no. But allow yourself to move past the issue and onto other things. You do not need to let your friend keep you in the past by holding you there. You are an individual, and you, by all means, can move past it and live.
If you have expressed your feelings, respectfully and without blame— and your friend has taken it all into account and chosen to move on, congratulations! You get to move on as well.
I suppose the general moral of the past few paragraphs all close with a simple statement: move on and live.
As my tangent pulls to a close, I must conclude with one final statement:
Do not return evil with evil. Do not respond to pain with pain. See your faults for what they are, and remember to love— love those who hurt you, love those you do not understand, and love those who hate you.
And that, my dear friends, is how to deal with these things respectfully and maturely.
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
—Martin Luther King Jr.